1. not your fault she has cancer
2. not your fault it was not picked up sooner.

To find out why fam and er doc are acting the way they are go on you tube and look up "giraffe in quicksand" for a fun way to see a dramitization of the greiving process. then go out and read on death and dying by elizabeth kubbler ross. Keep doing what you are doing and love her.

take care of you its an endurance event not a sprint.

if fam or others are not making progress and are toxic emotionally then explain why you are excluding them from you. Point them to the same resources as described above. The flip side is as her mentation changes you will need all the help you can get for 24 hr care.

Your intelectual bandwidth is likely overwhelmed with this huge event. Most health care providers understand that. So dont be afraid to ask your health care provider many questions. Ask for written instructions or more detailed explainations. Ask for a wound care nursing consult to teach you how to care for wounds. Ask for pain meds as needed. Get Hospice care involved.

Dont forget to keep doing fun things together that does not require a lot of work on her part.

pa4ortho